“Chet” by Michael Simms

Photo: Erzsebet Nagy SAAR, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Late at night I listen
to the slow release
of notes begging me
to complete the melody
through memory, the muted
trumpet reminding me
of walking empty streets
in slow rain. I'll never return
to what I was, improvising
words as Flash noodled
the keys at closing time
in the Paradiso downtown,
the last customer standing
by the door holding
his coat, not wanting
to go home. Alone we
returned to rented rooms,
sat in a sprung easy chair,
rolled a joint of ditch weed
and told ourselves not to go,
not to knock on her door
at 3am to say we loved her,
couldn't live, couldn't be
without her. I remember
how she stood in her nightgown,
gripping the half open door
against me, lonely
as I was. She looked over 
my shoulder at a few flakes
falling through the light
and closed the door
a last time. When I listen
to Chet pushing slow notes
into the air, I think of her
or rather my version
of her and my addiction
killing both of us, dark
streets that led to the edge
the way Chet follows
the thread wherever
it leads, even to the face
he wore late in life
like a map of defeat. His
last jazz was a single note
stretched into a life no one
would want, even me

Artist Statement

As a young man I performed spoken word with jazz bands in various cities throughout the south. I usually performed in the last set near midnight when the audience was half zonked. My heroes were Chet Baker and Jack Kerouac; unfortunately, I adopted not only their improvisational aesthetic but also their lifestyle. Addiction killed both Chet and Jack and nearly killed me. I kicked drugs in my early thirties and later met a wonderful woman whom I married. Eva and I moved to Pittsburgh in 1987 and started our family. The last forty years have been a gift.

Michael Simms is the editor of Vox Populi and the founding editor emeritus of Autumn House Press. His latest novel is The Hummingbird War (Madville, 2026), and his latest poetry collection is Jubal Rising (Ragged Sky, 2026).